Conflict Resolution for Couples – How To Disarm Conflict
We all know there are some good ways to deal with conflict and a lot of bad ways. Here’s how to practice some of the good ways of conflict resolution for couples!
Understand this: if you deal with conflict in some of the following ways, you can kill your relationship. Trying to dominate your partner by shouting or screaming at them is common but a big danger sign. Mocking your partner or insulting them during conflict is another way to cause lasting relationship damage. Slamming the door and shutting them out from your life won’t work.
There are some good things you can do during conflict. You can start by taking a few deep gulps of air while you are in conflict. Notice your reactions to the conflict as you do this. You can often observe your mate and your yourself reverting to the emotional age of 6!
Notice while breathing that conflict causes crappy conduct. We do a lot of childish things when we get into a fight. We yell, scream, throw things, withdraw behind a wall of silence, hate on our partners. This is normal and will wear off quickly after a fight. It is just adults being frustrated and acting like kids. Try not to take it personally.
One powerful thing you can do is to keep the argument from getting too heated. You have the power to de-escalate any fight before it gets too heated and out of control. If your mate is raising their voice, lower yours. Calming your voice down is one simple but powerful way to stop an argument from getting overheated.
Another great way to stop conflict from getting to or staying in the yelling stage is to say that you need some time to get yourself under control, then leave the room for a few minutes. When you come back, you will both be likely to talk in a more civil manner.
Dealing well with conflict takes practice and time to learn. But it is well worth it. You’re going to argue, the question is can you do so with less damage and less childish behavior, both from you and your mate.
When you practice de-escalating conflict, you will help the both of you to argue more like adults and less like 6 year olds!
Conflict Resolution for Couples Actions Steps you can consider taking for this insight:
- See if you can practice simply breathing as conflict arises.
- Notice how you are reacting and how your love is reacting as you breathe.
- Practicing de-escalating arguments. Talk quieter rather than louder. Make your mate feel heard and understood. Back away if needed for a while.
