Conflict Resolution for Couples – 8 Ways to Have Healthy Conflict
There is a newly emerging field in psychology called Relationship Intelligence. It is about how relationships work and how they can get damaged.
The more relationship intelligence you have, the better your relationship is going to be. The less you have, the more problems you will likely run into.
One key area of relationship intelligence has to do with conflict resolution for couples. All couples will fight and argue at various points. It is going to happen, it has happened to you. So, the more you know about conflict resolution, the more you will be able to survive and thrive in your relationship.
Here are some things you should know about conflict resolution for couples:
- Conflict is going to happen, it is okay, no need to freak out about it.
- Your relationship can grow stronger through conflict – when you can demonstrate to each other that you can resolve your differences.
- As an argument begins, learn to breathe and relax some.
- Aim to keep the fight from getting too heated.
- De-escalate the tension if you can. Lower your voice, step back, or ask for a time out.
- After a fight, once you’ve both calmed down some, reach out. Don’t let the cold war between you linger. The longer it lasts, the more relationship damage.
- Say this: “Sorry we fought, are you okay?” This is a no fault, no blame way to reach out.
- Once you’ve made up, acknowledge each other for your ability to work through conflict.
These are some steps you can use to develop your conflict resolution for couples skills. Don’t worry, you will get plenty of chances to practice them, since conflict is normal and will occur between healthy adults from time to time.
Conflict Resolution for Couples Action Steps you can try:
- It will take time, but learn to breathe and relax as conflict arises.
- Practice de-escalating conflict by lowering your tone of voice and staying calm.
- Say “Sorry we fought, are you okay?” after a fight.
- For videos on this, you can go to how to turn conflict into caresses.