Two Magic Words to Increase Marriage Intimacy Today
Good communication is a key to marriage intimacy. Talking with your mate about your day and your life, hearing about theirs, can be a simple way to stay connected with each other. We all know this is good for our relationship.
However, there are two simple words you can add to any discussion that can increase the connection and intimacy between you. And those two words are “I feel …” So they made this change to our bonus structure at work today and I feel excited about it. When you say what’s happening AND you add in how you feel about it, you deepen the intimacy of the communication. You let your mate in on not just what happened but your emotional response to it, which allows for a deeper level of connection. Using these two magic words “I feel…” creates greater bonding in friendships and in marriages.
“My friend said this to me and I feel angry about it…”
“I’m in charge of picking the book for the book club this month and I feel happy about it…”
“My mom called and told me I was spoiling the kids and I feel upset about her meddling…”
“I signed up for a spin class at the gym today and I feel excited about it…”
Two simple words that add more self disclosure to your conversations with your spouse. Self disclosure advances intimacy in relationships and it certainly will in your marriage. Over time in long term relationships, we can start to think they know us, they know how we feel, so we stop self disclosing so much, and our conversations can begin to become more routine and disconnected.
And, of course, if your mate doesn’t self disclose, after they tell you something about work or their life, you can simply ask “And how do you feel about that?” For some spouses, self disclosure does not come easily or naturally, but asking the question and giving them time to form up a response can easily and magically add to the intimacy you feel with your spouse.
Try this and see how it works in your marriage today!
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